funasshi:

spunkydragonwithdeadlylegs:

funasshi:

townsvillain:

preshiram:

why do some women masturbate with vegetables. are you really that desperate 

if i had a hole like that i’d stick anything i could in there, shit i’d probably keep my house keys in there

i would put my keys in there if my vagina wasnt tighter than a black hole

i dont think you meant a black hole because that implies that your vagina is a maw from which not even light can escape

i know what i said

(via thesirensaresingingyourname)

jarondgrammer:

frostyclyde:

so my mom bought some crab and she wasn’t ready to cook them yet

so i put them on the ground and yelled “BE FREE MY FELLOW CRUSTACEANS.” and they raised their claws like this

I AM THE CRAB LORD

This is still my favorite post on Tumblr.

(Source: kennyismeatyasfuck, via shire-bunny)

shercockandmycrotch:

fiftyonefiftied:

Wanna hear a joke? 

What did Jensen’s left leg say to his right leg?

Nothing, because they’ve never met. 

(via shire-bunny)

vexarion:

ifyoucarryonthisway:

i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute 

(via shire-bunny)

licensetocannibalize:

butts-incorporated:

can i be part of the hannibal fandom without watching the show? or is that not allowed?

(via shire-bunny)